Saturdays,weather permitting, which it hasn’t been for a LONG time, are usually spent mowing the grass. I normally don’t keep track of the exact time it takes, mainly because I’m in a mower induced trance by the time I’m through and I try not to think about it again until next week. This time I decided I would bring along my handheld GPS receiver and see exactly what cutting the grass looks like from a bird’s eye view and get some numbers for my own nefarious purposes.
Our yard from space.
The faint red outline marks the two yards I mow.The crop circles in our back yard are from friendly aliens or a pool we had. Right next to the “A” marker is the old me from about 5 years ago, actually cutting the grass. My wife says it is her but I can clearly see my pickup in the driveway and there is no heavenly way possible that I would allow my loving wife to cut the grass while I sit in my recliner…
A closer view. Notice the broad shoulders, the deep tan and the piercing brown eyes, so deep you could just swim in them… Has to be me!
First, some background information. I mow two yards, ours and our neighbors next door. I use a riding mower for my neighbor’s yard and a self- propelled push mower for our yard. Our mower has a grass catcher that has to be emptied every ten steps (okay,I’m exaggerating a little) and carried to the woods where I create an critter- friendly, ecological environmental habitat for my forest friends (by dumping it in a pile over the fence). I try to mow in the most efficient manner possible but I usually get sidetracked by snakes, branches in the face, unknown bugs in my mouth, ears, eyes and down my shirt, pants and by shiny objects. I also take a couple of breaks for water, which my loving wife brings to me exactly when I need it (how does she know?!), and refueling the mowers. Below are the stats of the world’s most efficient mower!
Total Time Spent Mowing: 3 hours 48 minutes 55 seconds
Elevation Gain of 6 feet
Maximum Speed 6.3 Miles Per Hour
Average Speed 2.3 Miles Per Hour
Total Distance Mowed: 5.36 MILES!!!
A bluebird that refuses to lodge in my awesome selection of bluebird houses, watches me disapprovingly.
Bob's Misanthropic Adventures 